Bored as fuck in this -_-. Kinda. didnt kno these kinda things were so boringgg at times. Geez. Watevs i guess ha
I hate how i can be soooo depressed one moment n then just bc of one person i can be so happy the next -_- the fuck. Annoying as shit. Well im not thattt happy yet, n its not a big deal
i dont want to eat. I dont want to drink.
i just want to go to sleep & never wake up. And leave this world. But God put me here for a purpose, and i must be grateful & patient bc things will get better.
Im so tired
Im so tired of this. I dont want to do this anymore. I just want to burn all the fat in my body. I dont want to be fat anymore. Im not going to be fat anymore. Im not going to think fat anymore. All the life & ways of a fat person is gone forever. Im burning that chapter to hell. I know exactly what i want, and im going to get it.
Time to grow up
Now i know why i got so fat and why im still fat. I have some fat ass habits. I really was a fatty, and theres still a bit of that still left in me. Now i really see this reality & it discusses me. I cant be in a relationship like this, its discusting. I want so bad & need to rid myself of it all. I will. I will change. I will do the work, i can be who i want to be. This is not who i...
I choose happy
Seriously feel like shit! im eating right from now on, im eating ALL RIGHT i dont care where i am, who im with, im guna do this!
This morning i felt great, when i went out walking with my mom to the bank n stuff. I felt light, & thin, & pretty & good. I want that again. I want that forever. Im really not doing this again.
NEW PICS OF MY PROGRESS!
Check um out — Under “Me For Now” on my page ;D enjoy
2 days done did!;D SO HAPPY I DID & AM! Living...
And im so freakinnnn happy that i hung in there. I told myself 2 days wuld go by faster than i knew. It will just be over before i know it. And it did. Now i will still just stick thru this for the rest of this cali trip I think im more excited now too bc i got back on track;D & my bodys getting back! And now i cant fucking wait to get even trimmer & get out of this fuckin hotel room...
My cousin karli is coming down to cali! im so even more excited now. I cant believe i wasnt excited about coming here before, i was all thinkin bout goin back home even sexier n shit, but im in cali! the fuck. ima have a good effin time here! imma go shopping the few days before i go back home since i’ll be skinnier then, and i want to find some awsomeeee outfits xDD ! Shopping with...
dietandcigarettes: i feel like eating healthy like lots of fruits and vegetables and whole grains… maybe i can handle that <333
Yes i needed it bc i was gettin kinda tiredy ish. But i remembered how soon at the graduation & after it, i will be seeing my aunty fuli & uncle rick, which i havent seen since summer 2 yrs ago wen i looked one of my worst bc of my acne n stuff, and yea i been treated unfairly & ignored just bc i wasnt good looking like my brother. And by all our other relatives, they always treated...
Minused 3000 calories for today. Probably the most i have ever. idk. but i spent hours total in that gym today, plus my core synergistics :] Just another day of fast/cleanse/reset appetite, and then 100% clean/healthy nutrition I needa get some tea from the store, but i dont wana go there at all bc since im in a different place, i dont feel as strong. But i gotta tomorrow. n to get all my...
Im going to do this. Idc what is happening. I will stand my ground. IM GOING FUCKING HARD TILL I BOMB THAT HOME RUN!
I regret everything i ate, all the breakfast at ana millers was not worth it at all. Next time i know i wont do it bc i KNOW with all my being and after over years & years of doing the same fucking thing that it makes me miserable as hell. I will stop doing it! I am done doing it. I have no doubt in my mind. All the way till i reach my goal weight at mid to end of june, i will not do it a...
It WAS only just a craving, bc after i ate lunch i wanted to eat more BUT i felt my stomach n it was full, so i decided to drink water n go chill out in my room n open all my new itouch n speakers n earphones & update my music. Then like 30 mins later i realized i was completely fine and wasnt feeling any hunger OR cravings. I was fine. So i need to remember this evrytime i eat n if im still...
Maybe i just need to be more grateful?
I hate this. i dont like feelin like im at a dead end. Shuldnt i just have fun? I shuld. I just wanna fuckin live & just have the time of my life. Atleast im still kinda single, i kinda like that. But wen i get back i wana jus do everything in life that ive always wanted to. wuld be kool if that spark will be back wen i get back but if things arent the same then im totally going out with sam....
Hiking today intense
Hiking today, but currently feeling very ugly, and kinda skinny but not rlly. I think i jus need nutrients to get color in my face or somethin n i needa exercise that always helps. But i need to eat as perfect as i can today & every day for the rest of may, i gotta do my best even tho im funa be out w ppl all week, imma be straight up here, bc i have a my goal n im almost to the homestretch,...